Monday, January 31, 2011

All I Need Are Those Stupid Mini Marshmallows

So evidently unsweetened chocolate almond milk is dis-gus-ting. Picture chalk, only something that's chalkier than chalk, then combine that with the crushing blow of expecting something delicious. Now you've experienced unsweetened chocolate almond milk. Thankfully I am a genius and can successfully heat up a pot while adding two ingredients and stirring with my faithful mini whisk.

This serves 2 and is so reminiscent of all the best parts of Swiss Miss cocoa that my hills are alive with the sound of music:

2 cups nasty unsweetened chocolate almond milk - I suppose any type of non-dairy milk would work, but add another teaspoon of chocolate chips if using vanilla or regular.
2 T vegan chocolate chips (baking quality)
1 T vegan (unrefined) sugar

Heat up the pre-awesome almond milk in a small sauce pot or double boiler, stir continuously. With your free hand add in the chocolate chips when the almond milk begins to cloud up on the top. Try not to let the delicious stew of chocolate and love boil because it can make the milk taste weird. Add the sugar after the chocolate chips begin to melt and stir for another minute on medium/low heat. Pour into two adorable mugs and split with someone you think is cute. Or someone that you want to butter up for a favor. Or both.


Feelin' A Little Ambitious

Hey friends! I've been wanting to start something like this up for awhile, just so my whole Facebook isn't completely overwhelmed by my recipes and pictures of the food I shove in my face.

Anywho, less preamble, more food shoving.

Tonight! The main plate real estate was given to Chickpea Cutlets a la Veganomicon (Holy shit, that link has nutrition facts. Don't look at those if you want to still respect yourself.) As a little secret between me and you, I suck at following recipes. Today's adulteration called for substituting crushed saltines for breadcrumbs, dalmation sage for rubbed sage, and smoked paprika for Hungarian paprika. I refuse to buy one item that I'll only use a cup of for a recipe and Will eats about 4 sleeves of Saltines a day, so that was an easy choice to make. I also fried these lil beauties in a mixture of olive oil and peanut oil because... well because it's my sexy cutlets and I do what I want.

I did however make the sauce for ze top! It's perfectly salty and sweet, a great pairing with these extremely savory and crispy cutlets:

Hella Hell Yeah sauce:
3 T tahini, 1 t rice wine vinegar, 1 t lemon juice, 1 t dijon mustard OR 1 t dry mustard and a lil more water, 1 t agave nectar, 2 T water.
Mix using a mini-whisk, your cutest kitchen friend, and serve on the side.

I attempted to add some unmolested green into the mix with blanched (flash boiled/steamed then cold water immersed) baby asparagus from my CSA box topped with my patented I Am Spiteful sauce. So Grateful Bowls are awesome. If you haven't swindled Cafe Gratitude out of at least $250 by only paying $1 every time you eat one of these, we shouldn't even be friends. However, I hate going in to Whole Foods three times a week just to rub that delicious green sauce on my gums. Spiteful Sauce to the rescue! This was the result of about 7 minutes of tinkering with the following ingredients and my food processor: a cup of fresh parsley, 3/4 cup tahini, 4 T lemon juice, 2 T miso, 1 T white wine vinegar, way too many (~4) garlic cloves, 1 t garlic powder,1 t onion powder, 1 t chili powder and fresh cracked pepper. Throw those in a blender of food processor in that order and then fool around for awhile. Get that sauce to third base and you're good to go. I've been eating this sauce on everything! Store in an airtight jar, and spread on sandwiches, slap on some beans and rice or pour over steamed greens.

Since I wasn't sure yet that I had successfully created the most rib-sticking, gut-busting, holy-shit-this-is-amazing dinner I made some Colcannon on a whim since it's a ridiculously easy recipe to, uh, whim.
Step 1) Steal some potatoes from your downstairs roommates
Step 2) Add some kale (another CSA score, I used dino kale but any will suffice), Earth Balance, salt and fresh cracked pepper to taste. If you've got any Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese on hand, throw a couple tablespoons of that bad boy in too. You can also put some dairy free milk in, but I like my potatoes on the dry side.
Step 3) ?
Step 4) Profit. For your belly.

Here's a terrible, horrible, very camera phone picture of the meal:

Then Will and I ate the entire thing in one sitting and I'm typing this with the laptop on my engorged, very happy belly.